As a new mom, you are going to need help. Period. There’s no getting around that fact. Having a new baby is a life adjustment…even/especially if you’ve already had a handful of them ;). Maybe you’re the type of person that doesn’t have an issue directly asking for help and maybe you know exactly what you need help with. If so, you’re a superhero and you should help the rest of us by commenting below about your personal experiences with this. For anyone else who, like me, has reservations about asking for help, I’m here to help you request specific help a bit easier.
My breastfeeding classes and one-on-one consultations have helped me understand and teach the most important concept, to plan ahead. The first several weeks after having your baby, you should relax and enjoy your together-time and not worry about cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or going shopping. It’s much easier to have that time if you have a little extra help, so prepare before you have your baby. Make sure that help is set up ahead of time.
First things first, print this list (it’s the fancy green list below) and put it on your fridge. Make sure it’s visible and obvious. If needed, when people come by to visit, you can even direct them to the list. The list is a great go-to when someone asks, “How can I help?,” and your awesome postpartum mind kicks in and draws a blank. It’s one of the best, semi-passive-aggressive methods I’ve found that helps eliminate the potentially overwhelming, well-intentioned visits that can be great, but can also physically and emotionally drain you. Family, friends, neighbors, and often complete strangers want to help. Some just don’t know what you need, so help them. What’s the saying?…”Help me help you.”
This list will help your family, friends, and neighbors (and maybe that random stranger who you for some reason allowed to come into your house in the first place to be able to see this list) help and support you while you are going through this new-baby transition. Don’t be afraid to ask people to do the things on the list, they are there to help you, so let them.
This list can also prevent you from feeling that people are overstaying their welcome. Some people might come over to see you and want to just hold baby. That is fine if that’s what you want them to do. But sometimes you want to be the one holding and cuddling your baby. That is where this printout will come in handy.
So, save yourself some hassle and print this list as many times as you like. Put it all over your house. There are empty spaces at the bottom for you to add anything else that you can think of. You might need help with walking the dog, clean the kitty litter, or taking your other kid(s) out for a playdate. Go crazy, but not too crazy…just kidding, go crazy because you are in a time of need. Let people who care about you help.
Use this list and use it well. Let me know how it works for you. My list is already on my fridge, and I’m excited about it!