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Breastfeeding Blog

Welcome to Prenatal Insights' Breastfeeding Blog. Here you will find a variety of topics to help you throughout your breastfeeding journey. I want you to Breastfeed with Confidence and I am here to help you be a confident mama. Let me be your Breast Friend.

Nipple Shield Recommendations from an IBCLC

August 22, 2019 By Anna Leave a Comment

Anna holding a nipple shield in her hand.

What is a nipple shield and why would I use it?

A nipple shield is a flexible silicone nipple that is placed over the mother’s nipple during breastfeeding. You might receive one in the hospital if your baby is having difficulty latching. Latching issues can be caused from tongue-tie or from inverted or flat nipples.

Nipple shields can be helpful if you have flat or inverted nipples, a preterm delivery, or a low-birth-weight baby. They should be a short-term solution, and should always be used under the guidance and direction of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). Nipple shields may reduce the amount of milk that baby is able to remove from the breast, which may lead to plugged ducts and mastitis. And nobody wants those. 😣

If you need to use a nipple shield, you should also have a plan to wean baby from it. An IBCLC is a great resource to help you create your weaning plan. Below, you’ll find a weaning list that I’ve put together to give you an idea of what to expect from a weaning plan.

How to wean from using a nipple shield?

Weaning from a nipple shield can be difficult and takes time, so let’s get through this together.

Here are 5 things to help you wean:

  1. Work with an IBCLC
  2. Have patience with yourself and your baby
  3. Get lots of skin-to-skin contact anytime you can
  4. Offer the breast first before using the shield (work up to doing full feeds without the shield)

    Tip: If you have short, flat, or inverted nipples you can massage your nipples and/or pump before breastfeeding for a couple minutes to help “pull” the nipple out – This also helps to get milk flowing to give baby a quick “reward” when latched and sucking

  5. Check that your baby has a good latch; if not, break the suction and try again

If you have any questions about nipple shields, ask them in the comments section below (click this to jump down there).

Calling all mamas 📢


If you’ve used a nipple shield, please share what you learned from your experience (in the comments section below), whether it was good or bad.

Did you receive a nipple shield in the hospital? What instructions did they give you? Did they give you a timeframe to wean? Did it help your baby? How long did you use it? What advice would you give to a mama that that might be struggling?

We’re here to help mamas. You can help by sharing your personal experiences and knowledge in the comments section below.

To give you even more help, I’ve included the transcript to my IGTV recording about nipple shields.

Watch the video on Instagram.

00:00 Hey Mamas. Today I am talking about nipple shields. And this is an example of a nipple shield. There are multiple sizes and shapes of nipple shields. This is just one kind of them, but I just wanted to show you guys kind of what they look like. So, with a Nipple Shield I kind of have a love-hate relationship with these. I feel that sometimes nurses and lactation consultants in the hospital will give these when it’s not necessary, and sometimes they are given for a good reason and very, very useful. So I’m going to be talking a little bit about both of those. But a Nipple Shield is just thin silicone nipple that has multiple holes in it here. And this goes over your nipple to help baby be able to latch on to the breast more easily. And sometimes baby will just latch onto the nipple. Sometimes they’ll do a good big latch and latch on really well to the breast as well.

01:14 And that makes it a little bit more effective and helpful. Because sometimes with the nipple shield, I find that it decreases nipple stimulation, which can decrease breast milk supply and decrease the amount of milk transferred to baby. So, I always recommend when using a nipple shield that you’re working with an IBCLC. And that is an international board certified lactation consultant. I am an IBCLC and sometimes the lactation consultants in the hospital are IBCLCs, but sometimes they are nurses that have had just a little bit of breastfeeding training and they don’t fully have breastfeeding certifications and the full scope of knowledge that an IBCLC has to be able to fully assess if a nipple shield is needed and what else might be able to help you better. So I always recommend talking to an IBCLC before using a nipple shield. If you are going to use a nipple shield, I recommend, with an IBCLC, doing a consultation where you do what’s called a, “weigh, feed, weigh” with baby.

02:39 So what they’ll do is they’ll weigh baby before they feed, then you’ll do a feeding with the nipple shield, then they’ll weigh baby after the feed and you’ll see how much milk is transferred. I have had multiple consultations with moms that use nipple shields with their babies. Sometimes I have had baby get a full three-ounce feeding in the 20 minutes that they eat, and that is great with the nipple shield. I have also had babies that have fed for 30+ minutes and only transferred a fraction of an ounce; and that is frustrating for both mom and baby. So obviously baby’s not getting enough food, but mom is feeling like they’ve been feeding for so long that babies should be getting enough food, not understanding why baby is still fussy, and then needing to supplement after and everything. And so it can cause lots of complications. Without having that knowledge that baby’s not getting enough milk.

03:44 It can cause baby to not grow well and have some failure-to-thrive issues, which is why it’s so important to work with an IBCLC when using a nipple shield so that you can know if baby is transferring enough milk or not. In the cases of breastfeeding going really well with nipple shields, and even when they’re not, working with an IBCLC to create a plan to wean off of the nipple shield is a great idea. I have had so many consultations where the biggest complaint of the nipple shield is how difficult it is to use, especially when wanting to breastfeed in public, someone going out of the house and needing to use it. It can be difficult. It fills with the milk and then it can spill all over when you’re trying to take it off and different things, so it can be really complicating and frustrating to use one of these at times.

04:42 And so creating a plan to wean baby off is great. Some babies will just wean off on their own, which is amazing, and will just be able to go right to breastfeeding without the nipple shield, without any complications. In those cases, it’s often because the nipple shield was used because baby was born a little premature or a little bit small and had a small mouth, which is why you were using this to help them breastfeed in the first place. And so as they get older and bigger and their mouth gets bigger, they’re able to get onto the breast without the nipple shield a lot more easily. In some cases, like those with flat or inverted nipples, it can be a little bit more tricky, and creating a plan and a process to help pull the nipples out before breastfeeding can help to wean off the nipple shield more easily; and again, I cannot stress it more.

05:45 That’s why it’s so important to work with an IBCLC when using a nipple shield so that you can know how to use it, that you’re using the right size. I mentioned that these come in different shapes and sizes, and you want to make sure that you’re using the right size for your nipple so that it can work the best that it can. And then creating a plan to wean and and working with the IBCLC to know that baby is transferring enough milk. So, with all of that information you can see why sometimes using a nipple shield is a little bit more complicated. And if you are having difficulties with breastfeeding in the hospital or right after baby is born, I would not use this as a first go-to solution. Make sure that you are being fully assessed; both you, your baby, and the feeding to see that baby is latching well. And if that’s an issue, there are different ways to help baby latch well. It could be tongue tie or lip tie issue that if that is resolved can then help with the feeding without using a nipple shield. It can be a couple of different things. With…If baby’s mouth is just a little bit too small, Um, just assessing how the feeding is actually going. Assessing baby’s mouth, how their tongue moves, and all of those can really play into how a feeding goes. And if you get a full, good assessment, we can figure out how to fix it, possibly without using a nipple shield.

07:33 If a nipple shield is still needed, then that’s fine, but we want to make sure, again, baby is getting enough milk transferred with that feeding. And so, always work with an IBCLC to help with the nipple shield to know that it’s working properly, that things are going well with the milk transferring, baby’s gaining weight appropriately, having enough wet and poopy diapers, and that breastfeeding can then…we can have a plan to wean off of this, to have just breastfeeding without the nipple shield and have you have the best breastfeeding journey and experience that you can, and the breastfeeding journey that…an experience that you want. So if you have any other questions about nipple shields, please let me know. Send me a message and I will be happy to answer them for you. Thanks mamas.

Ask for Help – Ways that Others can Support YOU as a New Mom

March 22, 2019 By Anna Leave a Comment

As a new mom, you are going to need help. Period. There’s no getting around that fact. Having a new baby is a life adjustment…even/especially if you’ve already had a handful of them ;). Maybe you’re the type of person that doesn’t have an issue directly asking for help and maybe you know exactly what you need help with. If so, you’re a superhero and you should help the rest of us by commenting below about your personal experiences with this. For anyone else who, like me, has reservations about asking for help, I’m here to help you request specific help a bit easier.

My breastfeeding classes and one-on-one consultations have helped me understand and teach the most important concept, to plan ahead. The first several weeks after having your baby, you should relax and enjoy your together-time and not worry about cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or going shopping. It’s much easier to have that time if you have a little extra help, so prepare before you have your baby. Make sure that help is set up ahead of time.

First things first, print this list (it’s the fancy green list below) and put it on your fridge. Make sure it’s visible and obvious. If needed, when people come by to visit, you can even direct them to the list. The list is a great go-to when someone asks, “How can I help?,” and your awesome postpartum mind kicks in and draws a blank. It’s one of the best, semi-passive-aggressive methods I’ve found that helps eliminate the potentially overwhelming, well-intentioned visits that can be great, but can also physically and emotionally drain you. Family, friends, neighbors, and often complete strangers want to help. Some just don’t know what you need, so help them. What’s the saying?…”Help me help you.”

This list will help your family, friends, and neighbors (and maybe that random stranger who you for some reason allowed to come into your house in the first place to be able to see this list) help and support you while you are going through this new-baby transition. Don’t be afraid to ask people to do the things on the list, they are there to help you, so let them.

This list can also prevent you from feeling that people are overstaying their welcome. Some people might come over to see you and want to just hold baby. That is fine if that’s what you want them to do. But sometimes you want to be the one holding and cuddling your baby. That is where this printout will come in handy.

So, save yourself some hassle and print this list as many times as you like. Put it all over your house. There are empty spaces at the bottom for you to add anything else that you can think of. You might need help with walking the dog, clean the kitty litter, or taking your other kid(s) out for a playdate. Go crazy, but not too crazy…just kidding, go crazy because you are in a time of need. Let people who care about you help.

Use this list and use it well. Let me know how it works for you. My list is already on my fridge, and I’m excited about it!

Ways YOU can helpDownload

AdriAnne’s Breastfeeding Story: Try as I Might, I Still Didn’t Like It

August 22, 2018 By Anna Leave a Comment

Real people, real experiences

AdriAnne Larsen is a mom, expert storyteller, writer, and copywriter from Spokane, WA.

She is passionate about helping others write their own stories in their most authentic way. You can find her on Instagram here.

I am so grateful that AdriAnne is willing to share her breastfeeding experience with us. I especially love it because many who have experienced the same aren’t open to sharing about it, and I want you ALL to know that you are not alone in how you feel.

Breastfeeding is different for every woman. Some women love breastfeeding, some women hate it and feel used, and others may be in the middle.

Here is AdriAnne with her story


The idea of breastfeeding never really appealed to me. Sharing my body, plus pain, and a slew of infections and issues that the internet loves to talk about. When we did get pregnant and my body basically felt like a swollen blueberry for 10 months, I already felt out of control. I began the 10 month debate of if I really wanted to share my body with someone for another year-ish after the 10 months of pregnancy.

I read a lot about breastmilk and formula and stared at ingredient lists for longer than I should have. I thought about how I still had 50+ years of life and that 2 years wasn’t that long to share my body with someone else. And then some days it just felt like too long.

I thought that maybe I would be one of the ones who just couldn’t produce milk. But based on the leakage that happened the last few months of pregnancy I figured that theory went out the window.

And then I shamed myself for being so selfish and not jumping headfirst into ‘sacrifice for my child’ mode and being totally on board with breastfeeding.

And then I thought maybe it will kick in once she’s here. Once I see her, I’ll just want to share my body with her and breastfeed her and then everything will be ‘normal.’

Well she was born. And I just didn’t feel it. I felt a fierce responsibility to protect her but not to feed her. The first night home, my mom was here staying with us. Alice had fallen asleep in my mom’s arms and told us to lay down and she would come get us when Alice woke up. Ten minutes later I was on the edge of our bed sobbing uncontrollably because I was worried Alice would know I wasn’t with her and she would feel unsafe and a whole lot of other unexplainable fears and emotions. Hello postpartum, nice to meet you, I hate you.

All the things say to do certain things in order to bond with your baby while breastfeeding them. Look into their eyes, talk to them, rub their cheeks or hands, etc. I feel like I put in a valiant effort to bond with Alice while breastfeeding. Honestly though, I just felt used. I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t feel like it made me learn to love her or bond with her.

Sometimes it actually made me angry and frustrated with her. Frustrated on the days when that was literally the only thing that would make her happy. Angry at science that I had to feed her. I was angry that my body was the only body in the house producing milk. Why did that fall on me? Why is this a woman’s job? And yes I tried to see it the special way. This is my special role as a woman. I am a female so I get to grow babies and then feed babies with my body. I give life. I nourish life. I produce what she needs to survive. But that has never felt like a special power to me. It doesn’t empower me to think that I can do that. Mostly because I didn’t earn that power. It happened to me.

I am a woman and so I have woman parts that make babies and feed babies. I didn’t practice that or work my whole life to have a uterus, etc. Maybe I should, but I just don’t. I’ve tried to think that way and appreciate what my body can do and I think I do appreciate what it gave me. It gave me Alice, thank you body. But I don’t feel that ME, my soul, has anything to do with my body’s capabilities.

Just because I give Alice breastmilk, doesn’t make her feel any more loved than if I didn’t. She feels loved because I smile at her and talk to her all day and play with her and hold her when she’s sad. I wipe her tears and give her hugs and swing her around in circles. I make her laugh and tickle her feet and hands and give her bouncy hugs.

Maybe I didn’t try hard enough. Maybe my chemical makeup produces less of the hormone that connects me to my children through breastfeeding. Maybe I predisposed myself to not enjoy breastfeeding. Maybe a lot of things. But maybe it’s okay. Maybe I don’t need to love breastfeeding. Maybe I just need to love Alice and that can be enough.


AdriAnne, you are amazing

Thank you, AdriAnne for opening up about your breastfeeding experience. I hope AdriAnne’s experience has helped you in some way, if for no other reason than to know that you are not alone in your feelings about breastfeeding.

Breastmilk is an incredible food for baby. There are so many benefits for mom and baby from breastfeeding. I know that breastfeeding does not always work out for a number of reasons, and that is ok. Loving your baby is enough and feeding them, whatever way that may be, is the most important. Check out this post I wrote about “Fed is Best.”

Follow me on Instagram and Facebook, and you’ll be the first to get updates and new information!

The Day I Had to Say “Goodbye” to Breastfeeding my Little Lady

August 8, 2018 By Anna Leave a Comment

On the morning of June 17, 2018 I breastfed my daughter for the last time. It was a sad moment for me. It was sad to say goodbye to breastfeeding and everything that came with it. I loved breastfeeding. I loved the cuddles, the bond, the comfort it gave, the health benefits, the convenience, and so much more.

My breastfeeding experience was incredible

Breastfeeding was something that my daughter and I enjoyed together. She LOVED it and would have kept going for who knows how long. I am grateful that it was something that I enjoyed, because I know that not everyone does.

Some people see breastfeeding as a sacrifice. A sacrifice of your body and a level of freedom that lasts longer than the nine months of pregnancy. That can be really difficult for some.

I didn’t see it that way. I see breastfeeding as a SUPERPOWER. As a nurse, I learned a lot about Anatomy and Physiology. I knew the basics of how the body works and a bit about breastfeeding. As I learned more and became an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) I was amazed at how truly incredible a woman’s body is. We can create life and then we can create milk to maintain that life. And that milk is specific to our baby’s needs. It is amazing. Our bodies are amazing.

Preparation helps…with anything/everything

Breastfeeding is not always easy. I was so glad that I had taken classes to become an IBCLC, and that I had also taken a Breastfeeding Basics class before I delivered. They both gave me useful tips and tricks that helped me with breastfeeding when that time finally came. It was so helpful. Knowledge is power! I felt a lot more confident in my ability to breastfeed and take care of my new baby because of the knowledge that I had.

Longer than expected

Before I became a mother and joined the “breastfeeding moms club,” I never would have imagined breastfeeding for 18+ months. I was sure that I would stop at 12 months, mostly because everyone that I knew had stopped breastfeeding by 12 months. When I started breastfeeding, my mentality completely changed…especially because the 12-month mark was in the middle of winter.

I wanted to give my daughter breastmilk to help fight against all the sicknesses that often come in the winter. After winter passed, I thought I would stop in the spring. Spring came and went. My daughter had slowly weaned herself and was breastfeeding less often, neither of us seemed to be ready to stop.

It was so hard and I put off stopping for as long as possible. It finally came to the point where I had to stop in order for my body to regulate hormones in order to do treatments to get pregnant again. I won’t lie, I would still be breastfeeding if circumstances were different. I had to stop in order to do fertility treatments.

In most cases, women can continue to breastfeed…even through another pregnancy. That is, of course, as long as the pregnancy is going well and is low risk.

Individual results may vary

Every breastfeeding experience is different, and I am so grateful that I had such a great experience with my daughter. It came with its ups and downs, just like everything in life, and overall was amazing.

Please reach out to me

If you are having difficulty with breastfeeding, or if you have questions or concerns about anything related to breastfeeding, feel free to reach out to me. I am here to support you and help you meet your breastfeeding goals.

I hope that my personal breastfeeding experience will help you as you prepare to breastfeed, are currently breastfeeding, or are supporting others that are breastfeeding.

Follow me on Instagram and Facebook, and you’ll be the first to get updates and new information!

9 Postpartum Thoughts

July 25, 2018 By Anna Leave a Comment

AdriAnne Larsen is a mom, expert storyteller, writer, and copywriter from Spokane, WA. She is passionate about helping others write their own stories in their most authentic way. You can find her on Instagram here.

She has written a great post for you about thoughts that she had after having her baby.

Here is AdriAnne.
“I got this, you got this, we got this.”


I don’t think I need to go into detail about what a convoluted experience it is to have a baby. I think trying to explain the emotional part of it is something I would be terrible at.

Instead, I wrote down some real thoughts that either traveled through my real brain or really came out of my mouth the first week after Alice was born. Before I had a baby, I didn’t think a list like this would be that interesting. However, I myself was shocked at the things I thought and said during that first week. And I’d like you all to be shocked with me.

“I feel like I’ve lost an appendage to my body. And now, that appendage is mad at me for cutting it off.”

“Why don’t they make you take some sort of stamina or capability test before you’re allowed to reproduce?”

“How in the name of yellow poo does everyone have at least one person that kept them alive long enough to be semi-independent?”

“Why don’t more people just give up on parenting?”

“What is motivating me to keep this baby alive and relatively content?”

“Am I still alive?”

“Will this baby wet their pants more in their entire life than I have in the last two weeks? Doubt it.”

“I don’t think time is moving. I’m 90% certain that we are in some weird time warp/continuum thing and it is standing still in this time and we just happened to have a baby right before time stopped and now we’re stuck here. Forever.”

“Whoa, that’s a cute baby. Maybe they should’ve DNA tested to make sure she was ours before we left the hospital. No, she’s probably ours.”

Ya. I know–crazy. I think we use the word crazy pretty lightly nowadays but this is a time when it is not being used lightly. Crazy.


Thank you SO much to AdriAnne for sharing her thoughts. I hope AdriAnne’s thoughts have helped you in some way, if only to know that you are not alone in the ways you feel and the things you may think.

Follow me on Instagram and Facebook, and you’ll be the first to get updates and new information!

Tavin’s Birth Story

June 20, 2018 By Anna Leave a Comment

I am so excited to be able to share this birth story with you. Tavin is Jesi’s second child and he came into this world in a way that Jesi did not expect. I will let Jesi introduce herself and tell her story.


Here’s Jesi

Hi, I’m Jesi Dewey. I currently live in Lawrenceville, GA. However, soon my family and I are moving to Utah.

I like to say that I’m a jack of all trades. I got my bachelor’s degrees in Interior Design and Sales and Marketing, with a minor in Photography. I enjoy all these areas. Since living in Georgia, I became a group fitness instructor – strength, barre, yoga, pilates, zumba, personal trainer, and nutrition specialists. I love them all. And it’s a good thing I’m active, because I also thoroughly enjoy cooking and baking. Cupcakes and sugar cookies are my specialty. I am a BIG crafter and have turned one of my favorite crafts of sewing into a business. I hand craft boot-style stockings. It is my family’s tradition that was started by my aunt in the 70’s, and now I’m passing it along to others.

I am passionate about many things; however, if I need to choose a top priority, it would be helping others. In starting my company, I have found it to be a way for me to bless others’ lives. I haven’t figured out the exact “how”, but I want to save the world. As a child I would imagine dropping bags of food (and happy meals) to hungry children in Africa. I would like to create financing to give micro-loans for startup companies in third-world countries. I would also like to fund and educate orphans so they can create their own future and see their own value and worth. “Give a man a fish, he’s fed for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he can eat for a lifetime.”

My unplanned home birth:

I was pregnant with my 2nd son. It had been a rough pregnancy – I was sick the entire 9 months; I had gotten the flu twice, and food poisoning once. Our AC unit had gone out in July during my 9th month of pregnancy, and don’t get me started about the chigger bites that covered my feet and ankles (which I couldn’t reach to scratch because my belly was in the way).

When I was younger, I remember watching a 20/20 episode where it showed women getting paralyzed from epidurals during childbirth. I made the decision after watching, what for me was a traumatizing show, that I would either A. never have children, or B. never get an epidural. So, when I found out I was pregnant the first time, I went to the highly suggested practice that supports unmedicated births. Even after the 14 hours of labor from my first pregnancy, I did it.  So I thought, “okay, I can do this.”

When I got pregnant with my second son, I went to the OB hoping for the same support. I was presented with scoffs and I was told, “every woman thinks they can give birth unmedicated.” Being that I am a bit stubborn and tend to do what people say I can’t do, I was even more motivated to have an unmedicated birth just to show this lady that she was wrong.

The day of labor started out normal – I dropped off my 4-year-old son, Greyson, at preschool, went to the gym, and got a pedicure. I hate the thought of a Doctor seeing my toes unpainted, even though we all know that they could care less. That day was also the day my husband’s medical board score was released, and we were anxious for the results. After picking up my son from school, we ran some errands, and were in the backyard playing. It was just a regular day, nothing too exciting.

It was about 5 pm. My husband came home from his rotation and was heartbroken. He had failed his board exam. There was this overwhelming feeling of disappointment. All I could do was hug him. It was this long hug when all the sudden there was this pain in my stomach that matched the pain in my heart. I become breathless and had to bend over to even breathe. I caught my breathe and sent my husband outside to play with our son to distract his mind and try to get him to smile. I’d make dinner. “Contractions happen often this late in pregnancy, nothing to be alarmed about.”

I had to call my best friend and talk to her about the test results. When disappointment has happened that involved my husband and medical school, I felt that I had to be a source of strength to him and not let him see the crying that was happening inside of me. I didn’t want him to feel worse from my crying on top of his already feeling low. My friend has been that strength for me with empathy and encouragement.

I continued making German Pancakes for dinner and talked to her on the phone, having to pause about every 8-10 minutes to catch my breath from the pain. She told me, “You’re having this baby tonight. Call me after, no matter the hour.”

During dinner, the pains continued and began to worsen. However, they were 6-8 minutes apart. I noticed my mood shifting, and I became crabby. Eating dinner while sitting across the table from a 4-year old that is eating with their mouth open was insufferable! It took everything I had not to yell at him for the way he was eating. “Okay, so I think I’m really in labor.”

I called another friend who conveniently lives two streets over – “Thunder cats HO!” by 6pm. Her husband came to pick up Greyson for the night, and she was preparing to be my birth coach. Our game plan was to labor as long as possible at home, then once the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, head to the hospital. My friend’s job was to keep the nurses away, be my advocate for unmedicated birth, and coach me through transition. I told her I’d call her when contractions had dropped in time. I had read and practiced Hypno-birthing, and was going to have a calm, peaceful birth.

I turned on my cello music playlist, had my husband put the hospital and nurse gifts in the car, and OUCH!!! Another contraction. “Thomas get over here NOW!” The nice thing about having a husband in Osteopathic medical school is that the students learn manipulations to help the body. Chiropractics stem from this realm of medicine, so he had learned how to properly do pelvic compressions to relieve pressure during contraction…a huge help!  However, the most he had learned of OB/GYN was two weeks of book work, not yet an expert in this area of medicine.

Contractions continued to be 6 minutes apart, though worsening in strength and lasting longer and longer! They were over a minute long, having two peaks during each contraction. I tried every technique I could remember from Hypno-birthing, but nothing was working. This was the worst, most horrific pain I had ever been in. Sweat was dripping down me. I had blacked out twice during contractions from the pain. At times, I was sure I was going to vomit. But I was determined to have this baby unmedicated.

The beautiful option of laboring at home was the freedom I wanted. I was able to be in my tank top and underwear. The freedom of freely walking between the bathroom and going back to the sofa as needed. Going to any position I wanted to try to find relief from the pain and pressure.

The pain got to the point that I couldn’t handle any noise. The music had to be turned off and I needed absolute silence from my spouse.

The contractions stayed at 6 minutes. Mentally, I was becoming defeated. If the pain was this horrific at 6 minutes apart, how could I continue? I had my arm draped over the armrest of the sofa, kneeling on the ground. The last contraction had finally ended.

Exhausted, I lifted my head and told Thomas, “please take me to the hospital, I can’t do this anymore.”

Being the encouraging man that he is, he loving said, “you can do this honey. Keep going.”

I was not joking. I told him to get in the car and take me to the hospital now. I was getting an epidural.

Once again lovingly, he said, “okay, but you can’t show up in your underwear. I’ll go get you some shorts.”

I got up and walked to the hallway. On one side of the hallway is the door that goes to the garage, on the other side, the door to the bathroom. I was waiting in the middle. According to the timer, I still had three minutes until the next contraction. My phone pinged with a text from my friend saying she was ready to help and tell her when to come over. Right then, there was a shift and sudden drop. I screamed out to Thomas, who rushed down the stairs in time to catch me as my legs gave out. I dropped my phone on the ground, and water came down my legs. The sensation was much like wetting my pants. There was something that had triggered in my mind and body. I again, looked at Thomas and said, “can I just have this baby here?”

Miserable, exhausted, a bit embarrassed, and now wet, I walked into the bathroom. Straddling the toilet, three minutes later, and another crippling contraction. My arms had wrapped around Thomas’s neck. He had scooped me under my armpits to hold me up because my legs could not hold me.

I stood up to try to text my friend back, and within seconds had another contraction.

I remember gripping Thomas’s arm, head down, and feeling like I needed to push.

I told him “the baby’s coming.” He replied, “no he’s not.”

He looked down to check me, and blurts out, “oh my gosh that’s his head!”

He put out his arm, I felt this huge sudden urge to “use the bathroom,” I’m assuming that’s also the same urge as pushing. And so, I followed my body’s cues.

Standing over the toilet, in one agonizing, painful contraction, my lady parts feeling like they were on fire, pain shooting down my legs, I let out, for the first time, a scream of pain.

At about 8pm, my husband caught Tavin, my second son. Weak and tired, I gently sat down on the toilet (huge pro for catching blood and fluids since I was able to just flush it down). My immediate reaction was to bring Tavin to my chest. Thankful for my husband’s calm demeanor and ability to react quickly, he cleared my son’s airway from the fluid and got him breathing. I wrapped my son in a clean hand towel that I had on a shelf over the toilet. My husband lowered us to the floor in a more comfortable position. Nervous and jittery about what to do next, I had my husband call an ambulance as he got the supplies to tie and cut the umbilical cord.

The ambulance transported Tavin and me to the hospital. They pulled up to the ER door and were told to go the labor and delivery door. They drove to the other side of the hospital to the labor and delivery doors just to be told that they couldn’t unload us there because I already had the baby. Third door worked, and I was admitted to the hospital. I then delivered the placenta, and Tavin’s birth was recorded for medical records.


I am so grateful for Jesi’s willingness to share her and Tavin’s story. I hope Jesi’s story has helped you in some way.

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