I’m a mom of multiples (twins, to be specific!). Thus, it’s of no surprise that supporting moms of multiples is a cause near and dear to my heart. I want to help as many moms as possible, especially moms of multiples.
Recently, I published a post on how to support new moms in general. This post builds on that list. I highly suggest doing as much as you can from that post and then adding what you learn from this post.
Let’s get started!
Help Mom Navigate the NICU
First off, keep in mind that many moms of multiples will have to visit their babies in the NICU. This does NOT mean that they don’t need help because they haven’t brought their babies home yet. They need help and support both physically and emotionally. Below you will find things that you can do on top of everything else mentioned.
- Offer to watch other kids while mom and dad go to the NICU
- Offer support with pumping (holding babies while she pumps, providing bags, washing parts, etc.)
- Help mom and dad prepare the house for when the babies come home
To read up on NICU life and assistance, read an incredibly supportive account here.
In It for the Long Haul
Remember that mom life is hard for moms of multiples for much longer than the first couple of weeks. Keep offering help, bringing meals, and more for several months or even years. Being a mom of multiples is tough and increases mom’s risk for postpartum depression, be mindful of that and check in on her regularly. If you make promises, keep them. Be consistently supportive. If your life circumstances allow, show up for that mom as much and as often as you can. She’s walking a tough road.
General Ideas on How to Support a Mom of Multiples
When I reached out to a community for moms of multiples, they made various suggestions on how moms of multiples can be helped. In sum, their suggestions fell into five areas: food, household needs, sleep, tending to other kids, and social. Below you’ll see those suggestions broken down into categories:
Food should be a love language, shouldn’t it? Food is a great way to show support. Many moms of multiples mentioned how grateful they were for freezer meals, frozen burritos, and muffins to freeze. These ideas should be added on top of the typical “bring that mama some dinner!” Several moms received consistent dinners for several months after giving birth; however, I would suggest to bring meals even after that. Remember, meals don’t have to be elaborate. Moms just need to have food available and ready to eat because moms of multiples don’t always have the time or energy to cook and eat.
Get cleaning. Do as much as you can around her house. Helping with the kitchen and laundry should be your priorities, as those were mentioned quite a bit when we polled moms of multiples. The idea is to take the mama’s laundry and bring it back clean and folded for her.
Also, please note that offering to hold the baby while she cleans is not the same thing. Let that mama rest. Holding babies is easy. Cleaning while exhausted is not.
Help when you know there isn’t an extra set of hands. For instance, if you know a mom’s partner works late on a given night, plan to be there for her on that night. Whenever possible, offer to let mom sleep. Watch her babies so she can take the time to take care of her own sleep needs. The jackpot for any new mom is a good night’s rest. If you’re able to take a night shift (or multiple) so a mom could sleep at night, that will make a world of difference in that mama’s life.
Tending to Other Kids
Taking care of two or more new babies is tough enough, but add in additional children, and that’s downright overwhelming. Many moms mentioned gratitude for help with older children, whether that meant watching the older child for thirty minutes so she could shower or several hours so she could sleep.
A suggestion that was mentioned multiple times was to be available to talk. Moms of multiples can feel incredibly isolated, and adult conversation goes a long way. One mom loved that she was brought lunch and had time to talk to her friend during that time.
The long-short of it all is to provide help as much as you can. Considering that you’ve read this post, you’ve already shown that you’re invested in being supportive. I hope you’ll take these suggestions and provide service to moms of multiples whenever possible.